I need to Learn How to Love

Today in the mail my mom got a couple's ornament for my youngest sister's engagement, and I am upset.  The reason is that I am the oldest of three children but, I am the only one of them that does not have a love interest.  No girlfriend and the closest one that I would like to consider lives on the other coast.  At this rate by the time people ask me about my grand kids I will weep loudly because I haven't considered dating yet.

Still I don't know to fall in love because, I don't think I deserve it.  In my fantasy a girl would love a strong male in his 20s that has a master's degree in awesomeness and lives on his own.  I am in my mid 30s and I STILL live with my mother. 
After all the defeats I had in my life I don't know how to love myself.  Besides suffering from child abuse, I was beaten by a little girl, in a devilish battle I lost to someone who trained for less than a hundred days, the last girl I asked for a date turned me down because she was already taken.  I don't know anyone else that might want me.
I am trying to see the good in myself, I have a black belt in marshal arts, I am doing my best to be Eco-friendly, I come up with many ways to help save the world, I go to church on Sunday but, after being overshadowed many times I feel like I have lost all bragging rights.  I think the reason why I don't have a love life is because I got a chain letter in Jr. High that said that if I don't follow it's directions I won't get one.  I started to write but, the paper went missing...in which I assume that my wicked stepfather took it away.
I know I need help but, I don't know who to ask and hiring someone is out of the question.  The only thing I can do is train harder than ever.